I'm not sure what woke me up that evening. Probably the wet dream. All I remembered was the heat swallowing me up from mom's sleeping body. It wasn't unusual for her to cuddle me while we slept. It was something she had done for years every time dad was out of town. For years she had lay between my sister and I in her bed and keep us company until we fell asleep. We had a really big bed, Mom believed in the importance of sleeping together to strengthen the familial bond.
We would usually fall asleep leaning against her as she read. She would move us into our sleeping positions and take her own spot in the middle. I could remember waking up many times with her arms and legs wrapped around me. I slept mostly on my back in briefs and nothing else. I would often wake up to the weight of her slim arm and thigh slung across my chest and thighs and her gentle breath in my ear. It wasn't a sexual thing. I think it happened just because she was lonely and loved the touch of another person’s skin even in her sleep. My father was a good father and husband. But, I would come to realise that he was not the most romantic man.
This time was different. This time I woke up with a hard cock and a stickiness soaking through my underwear. My mom’s thigh rested on my cock.
Even though I didn't understand, wet dreams were nothing new to me. I had plenty of them in my life. I wasn't sure what cum was except that it was a sticky substance that came out of the same hole as my pee. Every time I gave in to temptation and I masturbated, I would feel the weight of my sins on me. I wasn’t what you call ‘traditionally educated’, despite being 19 years of age. I had no one to talk to about sex, no books to read that would tell me what it was. I knew that you could get a woman pregnant by putting your penis into their thing. But the only reason I knew this was because I had read the condom box that my father kept in the bathroom. I had actually jerked off reading the box's directions on how to put a condom on.
My family lived on a farmstead in West Virginia. We were deeply religious and my parents try to shield us from education of the sinners. But as I grew up, my body had urges that demanded my attention. Urges that filled me with pleasure and shame in equal measure.
I only knew six things about sex.
One, the name for the white milky stuff coming out of my pee hole was called "ejaculate”. Thank you condom box.
Two, you had to catch your ejaculate with a condom or else the woman would get pregnant.
Three, ejaculate spurted out of my dick when I was very excited and rubbing it.
Four, ejaculating didn't appear to be the result of some medical deformity or disease (which is what I thought the first time it spurted onto my belly and chest).
Five, since God hadn't struck me down and sent me to hell, spilling my seed onto the earth must’ve been a lesser sin.
And six...? What was six?
Oh yeah, never have sex with a family member!
I’ve heard the story of Lot sleeping with his daughters and God's subsequent curse.
I knew that two first cousins on my mom's side of the family had married and God had cursed them with a ‘retarded’ *****.
Since I was pretty sure that ejaculating onto my mom's thigh was considered sex, we were both obviously going die within the next few minutes and burn forever in Hell.
No big deal when you think about it.
I knew that I had to clean myself up. Even if we didn't die that night, mom was going to wake up, feel the wet stuff on her thigh and in my briefs, put two and two together and then personally kill me for sinning.